Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Tidbit: Believing in ME

Funny- Three different people today reffered to "finding your bliss". I seem to have found mine, and it seems to show. I am still round, I still deal with migraines, and I still have two teenagers, a Dude, 3 cats, and 8 chickens as well as this farmhouse to cope with daily. But I am not the same, or if I am, I am newly acknowledging a deeply hidden part of me.

Interesting- a year ago if asked, I would describe my heart/self as restless and apathetic, with a powerful yet undefined yearning". Today, and many of my nowadays, I am left with a comfortable feeling in my heart. Of knowing contentment, bliss and passion. And all it took was the finishing off of one corner of my basement, several hundreds of dollars' worth of paint, paper, and pretties, and a tiny belief in my heart that I *could be* the artist I *knew* I was as a five-year-old child. I just had to believe in myself to find her again. May I model this love of life and self-confidence for my children on a daily basis.

So when last we met, this is where my art journal was. I had covered up my doubts and excuses of why I couldn't be an artist with gesso and bright and shiny new Shiva paintsticks.

Here is how it looks now. I got to use my new Lumiere paints for this! Yay. I don't know if you can read the words on the right, or if they just look like a big grey cloud, but they are there, and say basically what I said in the paragraph above. The photo is of me at about five years old, when I KNEW I wanted to be an artist, and believed I could. I again believe I can, and that I am.
That's it for today. I have to take Papa Dude to the airport at 5 am, so it is off to bed with me. See you tomorrow.



suzi blu said...

See now, I want the farm, the chickens, I could probably live w/out the dude or the migranes, but to me yOur life IS bliss!!

<3 your colorful journal page!
thank u for saying nice things about my videos. Im posting another tonight =^_^=
love to you!

Pamela said...

How perfect is that? I think the difference is the "knowing" in your heart. Altho the "stuff" and tools are nice, you could create with whatever you find around you.

It sure is fun watching you journey! Just imagine how divine and blissed you'll be in a year! But for now, just love the moment:)

Thanks for sharing,