Wednesday, October 17, 2007

What goes up must come down, and then go back up.

I felt so on top of the world last night, things were going great, but then just at bedtime, I got into an argument with the Dude. Don't get me wrong, I love him to pieces, but I HATE fighting with him. It puts me in a foul humour, and I end up all puffy because I don't rest all night, and I am puffy enough as it is! Hate going to bed when someone is upset with me. Hate it. Hate the example it sets for the kids, too.

We've talked since this morning, and we're ok, it's all okay, but I was still very upset when I got up this morning- a dark, dark cloud over me. That is what inspired today's art journal. I was so upset, I forgot to even gesso my pages, just took black and red paintsticks to it, making a big jaggeddy broken heart on the paper. Then I gessoed over it, making sure to let some angry black and red peek out. I then used pink, bright red, and dark crimson to make a pink heart- very rosy and happy-looking, over the black broken heart. Drizzled and brushed Lumiere around the edges, one side silver and darker, the other gold, with pinks and blues. I used a match to scratch words into the heart- "How many times can a heart be broken and then mended?"on one side, and "Love, peace, grace" on the other. The black and red shows through the scratch marks. I like the contrast between the warm and fuzzy pinkness, and the angry black underneath.

I may add more to this, but not today. We are headed out for the afternoon/evening. Kids have youth group, and I get to go see my Mama. That will be all the salve I need.

How is that for opening oneself up on the internet. I am all for just keeping it real, ya' know? The breakdowns happen to us all, and without them, the breakthroughs would be fewer and farther between. Ya gotta have those downs to appreciate those ups. And I knew that people used art for therapy, but as I experience it for myself, I can see how powerful it can be!

Keeping it raw and real,


amy@thefoilhat said...

Sorry you guys are having a rough time, but I LOVE the heart. I don't know, but I think the writing on the heart with the match was a stroke of brilliance!

Needleroozer said...

We're ok, it is mostly his stoopid job stress and he is struggling with how to communicate through it. I love him and know he loves me. Part of it is I sometimes feel like some of my fave bloggers avoid blogging the uncomfortable or not perfect parts of their lives. Just keeping it real!

Pamela said...

Yin and yang ~ you are living life fully and really experiencing it, not just reading about it or watching it on a movie screen.

Hang in there ~ with out the broken heart days we can't really feel the total opposite of overflowing bursting with light and love, heart days. I can't wait to see what that one looks like with your artistry!

Thanks for sharing,