Sunday, July 15, 2007

Dang it! I think I am frustrated.

In no particular order:

1. I cannot post pictures! I have a ton on the camera, and a ton on the computer, but I cannot access them! I keep getting these messages: First it says I can't open a database because one is already open. I click on close, and then it says, and I quote: Please open or create another database using the database dialog which is accessed via the database menu command. I have no idea what this means, other than my photos are trapped on my camera, and I cannot access the ones already in there. Sigh. I have Piano Girl, treehouse, art, and other photos to show you. I promise to figure this out and get them up soon.

2. It was a good day parenting wise- I kept my cool, but I did find it stressful to do so. Better than last night, though (when my Boy said something disrespectful to me in the car, it was the straw that broke the camel's back after a loooonnnnngg day of backtalk, and I kicked him out of the car. Sigh. We worked it out, but it was horible and tough.), and that counts for a great deal. It means I set the example of thinking carefully before I spoke to the kids. At this point, my kids are too old for me to control their actions, but I can still model the behavior I expect, and it can be powerful as well as extremely taxing.

3. My Dude has been gone a full week, and I have another to go. I am so glad I am not single parenting. As Melissa so elegantly (and timely, I might add) wrote tonight, I am not a single parent. My partner is away, but he is working his sweet little tuckus to the bone for us, so that I can stay home, and devote myself to these amazing (albeit bratty sometimes) children we created. He is still very much an active part of this family, whether he is here or away. I do miss him terribly though, and not just when I could use some tag-team parenting. There is so much to share, so many smiles to give, so much to enjoy about this life! I know it is much harder for him than me, so I do my best to support him, and not complain, though I know I do a bit. Truly and deeply I am grateful for him and how hard he works, and how much he loves us, and I am grateful he doesn't have a more dangerous job, and isn't away from us more. Getting to know Melissa has helped me a great deal with this!

The biggest thing is that he didn't call me tonight, and I am just really missing him. But it's okay. It really is.

4. This was a long day. Piano Girl really wanted to see her Gramma and Godparents today, so we went to the East Side, and went to church (there was a wonderful speaker- ask me about him later!) with the GP's, and then spent the afternoon at Gramma's. After that, we dropped in on the B family, to touch base about this week's actions on the kids' community service project (details later),. We didn't even get home till 8 pm.

5. The best part of the afternoon for me was going to Value Village with Gramma. You need to know that my Mama is the best truckin' buddy a gal could have, and when she lost her eyesight, she decided that shopping wasn't any fun anymore, and up and stopped going with me. My Mama grieves her sight for many reasons, but this is probably the toughest thing about it for me- for my entire life, if I wanted to be spontaneous and go thrifting, shopping, antique hunting, etc. (my Mama always called it truckin'), my Mama is the one partner I would always ask. I just haven't found anyone who is as much fun (though the Girl is learning fast, and comes in second.) We have similar tastes, like to do the same things, and wear out and need to eat at the same time. I so miss this.

Today was really fun- I got some storage stuff for the studio, found a couple of neat things for upcoming birthdays, and had a lot of fun, but it was also bittersweet, as shopping with her is different now. First off, I have to be my mom's eyes. I have to tell her what EVERY SINGLE THING IS: explain to her colors, sizes, and shapes; check prices, and help her navigate the stores. Second thing is I cannot leave her for very long at all, as she sometimes forgets things (don't want to lose her!), which means I cannot just go off to the skirt section while she looks at the kitchen stuff.

I guess as I think about it, I have been very blessed, and really have no complaint. I love my Mama, and will spend as much time as I can with her. I love to help and support her, and spend time with her doing whatever she wants or needs to. We will adjust (You have no idea how far we have come, the two of us!!) and adapt.

6. Gotta get myself to bed right now, as we are schooling tomorrow, and have a lot of ground to cover. I also need to be in the studio for a few hours- there are two sweet babies turning two in August, as well as my love's birthday. I also still have a bunch of fabric postcards in process.

That's it- I feel better- writing this down was a bit of a release, and was also an update for you!
See you tomorrow!


Dy said...

Very blessed. Sometimes there are so many blessings, we find it difficult to see each and every one, though. {{hugs}}

Bridget said...

I don't know how you all do it with your husbands being gone like you do. My heart and prayers go out to you. I loveeeee to shop with my Mom also, we also have the same taste and love the same things. I can't imagine not being able to do that with her anymore but be glad and thankful that you still have her and are able to spend time with her. Today is 1 year since we lost my Mawmaw and it has been a very long hard year for my Mom and the rest of my family. I can't wait to see your pictures.

melissa said...

Well, thanks for the lovely comments. And I loved the way that you described shopping with your mom. really beautiful. How wonderful that you take the time to remember and see these things. What a blessing you must be to her.

Needleroozer said...

Yep, yep, yep! Have to say, hearing your experiences with your mama have helped me stay focused on seeing her as a blessing. Thanks, friend.

Bridget, I hope I have many years of her left!

Melissa, I try to be, as she has done so much for me. I was sincere in my comments- you really truly set an amazing example for me in how gracefully you handle the times your man is away.

Pamela said...

I have the privelage of knowing some of the story leading up to this moment, and baby girl, you and your Mama have evolved in amazing ways!! Heck, everyone in your world seems to evolve. Wow ~ there is something goddess like there.... :)

So glad we got to spend some fun time with you today, what a fun blessing for us!